A friend of mine usually asks me if I am happy whenever we get a chance to talk. The answer would normally be a “I think so” or a “Sort of”. Personally, this kind of question demands a really honest answer, hence the indefinite response. We would play around with the idea behind it for a while, and I would just always say that I haven’t had an idea what true happiness for me is. Although there is that lingering feeling that my life is not complete, I am satisfied with my life. I’m ok. As some of my friend put it, I’m a pretty steady person when it comes to life. I just take it a day at a time.

If ever that question would be asked again, this time I would probably have a more definite answer. No.

There are a few things that’s been really bothering me these past few weeks, and upon further reflection started bubbling up a few months back. It’s quite difficult to explain, and to keep things short it’s quite bugging me down. I feel tired 24 hours a day, exhausted by everything. And it feels like I’m fighting a whole lot of shit off every second, trying to escape this dark cloud looming overhead.

Maybe I should just stop worrying about it and just go back to the laid back, steady old me. Not a care in the world, where everything’s cool…